Experiences of a Tumultuous Early Life Causing Vacuum and Assumption of Undesired Roles

Childhood Trauma Resulting in Loneliness and Assuming Undesired Roles

In adulthood, many individuals find themselves living out roles such as the Normal, Giver, Taker, Hero, Scapegoat, Rebel, Follower, or Clown. These roles, it seems, are deeply rooted in the emotional and psychological experiences of our childhoods.

Childhood experiences play a significant part in shaping our personalities. The unconscious behaviors and emotional reactions we exhibit in adulthood often stem from these early emotional and psychological experiences, acting as deep-seated patterns rooted in our inner child.

For instance, a Scapegoat, a child often blamed for things that are not their fault or responsibility, learns to take blame for things. This early environment can result in a fear of authority figures and groups. On the other hand, the Clown, who uses humor to mask their pain and anxiety, often carries a lot of hurt and loneliness.

Some individuals, due to rejection, scorn, invalidation, or attack of their true thoughts, emotions, needs, and preferences in childhood, may resort to a process known as self-erasure. As a result, some adults may have no idea what they like or feel nothing. This complex process can leave many people confused, perplexed, or unaware.

The Taker, or manipulator/abuser, takes from others or exploits them to gain what they want. Similarly, the Hero always does what is right, often to the detriment of their own well-being. Both roles can lead to a sense of emptiness and confusion upon entering adulthood, prompting some to take on roles like being like everyone else, the giver/caretaker, the taker/manipulator/abuser, or the hero/the good guy.

The Rebel, more like a troublemaker or an anti-establishment type of person, may engage in self-harm. Some professionals in comedy, who often engage in self-destructive behavior, have been known to take their own lives due to self-destruction.

However, it's important to note that many people have grown up in difficult environments and have experienced trauma that has had long-term effects on them. It takes years of recovery, healing, self-reflection, self-exploration, therapy, and self-archeology for many to rediscover their buried interests, understand their emotions better, think for themselves, take better care of themselves, and build and maintain healthier relationships.

Being an adult means you can do what you want when you want it. Sometimes, it takes doing nothing before you start feeling free to do something you really want, feel how you really feel, and be who you actually are. It's a journey of self-discovery and growth, but one that is possible with time, patience, and the right support.