Enhancing Bond: A Straightforward Method for a More Significant Affinity
In the heart of every strong relationship lies a shared vision, a set of values, and a mutual understanding. This is where the concept of a couples' mission statement comes into play.
According to psychologist Susan Orenstein, based in Cary, N.C., a couples' mission statement is a declaration that guides their principles, goals, and values. The idea, first introduced by Stan Tatkin, Psy.D, the creator of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT), has been gaining traction as a tool for building trust and open communication within a relationship.
A couples' mission statement is created and agreed upon by the couple, answering questions like "What makes you a couple?" and "What do you stand for as you stand together?" It serves as a compass, helping the couple navigate through the ups and downs of life together.
For instance, a couple might agree to always love and cherish each other, considering each other as the 'lucky one.' They might also include in their vows what they would include in deal breakers, values, rules of engagement, and agreements. This open and honest approach fosters a sense of safety and mutual trust.
The couple doesn't keep secrets from each other and confides in each other, feeling safe in each other's care. They take care of each other, building a loving family together. They also create a sense of stability by having some routine but also making time for fun and spontaneity.
Building a healthy lifestyle together is also essential. The couple supports each other in exercise, eating well, having fun, resting, and relaxing. This shared commitment to well-being strengthens their bond and sets a positive example for their children.
Creating a mission statement can be therapeutic and help couples create a greater sense of purpose. It encourages direct communication about wants and don'ts, helping to avoid actions that may be confusing in a relationship. The couple doesn't intentionally hurt each other, but recognizes they still do - and so they quickly and readily apologize.
However, it's important to avoid statements that are too rigid or perfectionistic, based on obligation or shoulds, or broad statements like "We'll be happy" or "We'll communicate." Instead, the mission statement should reflect the unique bond and values shared by the couple.
The process of creating a mission statement can be a powerful tool for couples who are committed to building a strong and lasting relationship. It encourages open communication, mutual respect, and a shared vision - all essential ingredients for a happy and fulfilling partnership.
