Take the Quiz: "Do You Fit the Role of the 'Family Scapegoat'?" (10 Questions)

Identify if You're the 'Black Sheep' in Your Family (10 Question Test)

In a family setting, the term 'Family Scapegoat' may not be familiar to many, but for those who have experienced it, the impacts can be devastating. This term, coined by clinical practitioner Rebecca C. Mandeville in the 2020s, refers to a pattern where one family member is unfairly blamed and targeted as the scapegoat to divert attention from dysfunction or abuse within the family system.

Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) occurs when primary caregivers or other important 'power holders' in the family single out an individual as 'defective' and repeatedly communicate that they are 'bad', 'different', or 'not good enough'. This can lead to feelings such as depression, anxiety, anger, shame, disenfranchised grief, and unconscious toxic shame.

For those who have been financially challenged, counseling services can be found through Better Help Online Counseling. Financial aid may be available by contacting [email protected]. Healing from FSA can be achieved through working with a trauma-informed therapist who understands family systems and the psycho-emotional consequences of being trapped in the role of the scapegoat.

The personal narrative of a scapegoated individual has been taken and replaced with a negative and shaming story by dominant family members. However, it's important to remember that many gifts can come from having gone through the confusion, isolation, and pain of being the family 'identified patient'. Recovering from FSA allows individuals to live joyful, authentic, self-empowered lives based on self-love, self-respect, clarity, compassion, and integrity.

If you suspect that you may be the scapegoat in your family-of-origin, answering yes to at least three or more questions on the FSA QUIZ may indicate this. The quiz includes questions about experiencing a 'story' about oneself that portrays them as bad, different, worthless, or defective; difficulty forming healthy relationships; struggle with addiction or codependency; difficulty identifying wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings; chronic anxiety, depression, and imposter syndrome; and guilt for limiting contact with abusive family members.

If you find yourself identifying with these questions, it's crucial to seek help and validation for your experiences. Remember, healing is possible, even in severe cases. If you feel disbelief in recovering, the practitioner encourages you to "Believe nothing, entertain possibilities."

Rebecca C. Mandeville, LMFT, is an internationally recognised expert in recovering from the negative effects of being raised in a dysfunctional family system and is a pioneer in researching, defining, and describing what she named Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA). Understanding this term is important because it helps victims recognise abuse dynamics, validates their experiences, and supports effective healing and boundary-setting in toxic family relationships.

Severe cases of family scapegoating can include public humiliation, such as a child being publicly exorcised multiple times in front of a church congregation. However, it's important to remember that healing is possible, and with the right support and understanding, you can reclaim your narrative and live a life free from the shadows of your past.