Life of a Solitary Male Resident in India: Essay by Bhaumik Shah
Bhaumik Shah, a 33-year-old man living in India, has spent his entire life as a bachelor. In a society that places a strong emphasis on marriage and finding a life partner, Bhaumik stands out.
Despite the taboo of watching movies in a theatre alone in India, Bhaumik has enjoyed the experience, even going so far as to see back-to-back three movies in a single day. His love for solitude is not limited to the big screen; Bhaumik also spends hours engrossed in books.
The concept of marriage as a choice, not a compulsion, is not widely accepted in Indian society. Unmarried individuals are often labelled as commitment-phobic, self-centered, or assumed to have something physically or psychologically wrong with them. Bhaumik, however, is confident in his ability to take care of himself in old age, though he may choose to live in a community for personal reasons.
The most common question Bhaumik faces is who will take care of him when he is old. His mother even took him to a psychiatrist to understand if there was something wrong with him due to his decision to remain unmarried.
Bhaumik believes the society needs to be more open and accept individual choices of living life with or without a romantic partner. He is not alone in his beliefs; debates about not making marriage a defined pathway for women in India are ongoing, albeit mostly women-centric and men are often overlooked.
Career selection in India is often tied to marriage, with engineers and doctors being considered the most suitable for marriage. Solo travel in India is also met with pity and sympathy, unaware that it is a choice and not a circumstance. Bhaumik, however, has travelled to multiple countries on his own and has had fantastic interactions with people and himself while doing so.
Solo travel is not considered normal in India, but Bhaumik has faced questions about his sexuality and past heartbreaks, both of which are incorrect. He has been asked if he is gay or had a painful heartbreak, neither of which are the reasons for his single status.
The existence of communities and groups for singles who do not want to mingle is rare in India. Bhaumik finds tons of women-centric articles about the hardships of being single in India when searching online, but resources for men are scarce.
Bhaumik is hopeful for the future, believing there will be a lot of professionally run old age homes in India in the next 30 years. He is unapologetic about his choice to remain unmarried and encourages others to embrace their individuality.
