Mourning the Death of a Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Manage Their Grief

The loss of a mother can be a profound and life-changing event, affecting individuals in various ways. According to several studies, the impact of this loss may be more significant on daughters than sons. A 2015 study, for instance, found that women experience a more intense grief response and have more difficulty adjusting to the loss.

During the grieving process, focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can bring comfort. However, the loss of a mother can also mean losing an important part of your support system. You may experience regret for lost family traditions and cultural knowledge, and wonder how successfully you're fulfilling your own role as a mother.

Grief can take a toll on one's physical health as well. Studies have linked grief to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure. It's essential to prioritise self-care during this time.

If the grief becomes unbearable or impairs your daily functioning, resources such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, and Befrienders Worldwide are available for immediate help. Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can also provide assistance. The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can help find a mental health professional specializing in grief recovery.

Maternal support can come from various figures, not just blood relatives. Keeping up with traditions, such as making recipes a mother used to cook or using the same fragrances she used in her home, may help ease the burden of loss. Starting your own traditions may help you find comfort knowing your children will have both yours and your mother's traditions to carry on with them.

Offering support to others who have experienced parental loss can provide a sense of purpose during the grieving process. Honoring a mother's memory can be personal, such as donating to her favourite charity or achieving a goal she wanted.

The effects of grief after the loss of a mother can cause relationships within your family to become strained. Daughters who lose their mother may experience unique grief, including cultural and tradition losses, and a lack of maternal guidance. If extreme grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, speaking with a mental health professional may be helpful.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) notes an array of normal emotions in the year following parental loss, such as regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness. Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment, can help manage painful memories related to the loss of a mother.

Books such as "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual", "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss", and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" may provide help during the grieving process. If you find yourself struggling, remember that it's okay to seek help and that you're not alone in your journey.