Overcoming Marital Strife: Strategies for Resolution

Overcoming Troubles in Your Relationship: Solutions Explored

In the complex world of romantic relationships, the prevalence of self-deception remains a less-explored territory. However, research suggests that denial and self-deception can have profound effects on our emotional well-being.

Denial and self-deception can instigate self-criticism, alongside the feelings that normally accompany depression, according to Blatt et al. (1982). This is particularly true in relationships marked by infidelity, an issue that can lead to an increased risk of depression and anxiety (Whisman, Dixon & Johnson, 1997; McCornack & Levine, 1990a).

Studies also show a truth bias that hinders our ability to detect lies in romantic partners. This bias, coupled with the heart's emotional logic that may predispose us to denial and self-deception, can make it challenging to navigate the intricacies of our relationships.

Darlene Lancer (2014) explains that attachments in relationships may prioritise maintaining the relationship over the individual's happiness with their partner. Signs of denial and self-deception can range from feelings of suspicion to excusing, making exceptions, and rationalising a situation.

Escaping denial and self-deception and setting our paths on the road to healthier relationships requires four steps: look for signs, conduct a reality check, brace oneself, and seek therapy. Conducting a reality check by sharing suspicions or facts with someone who can provide objective feedback can help in acknowledging reality (Lancer, 2014).

In relationships marked by escalation or abuse, the frequency of self-deception is often not adequately captured because people tend to focus on external behaviour and blame others or themselves. The underlying psychological mechanisms, such as denial or altered perceptions to maintain connection or reduce conflict, are less observable and less addressed in research and clinical assessments.

Emotions can influence what the conscious mind acknowledges and believes, leading to denial. Acknowledging reality can be emotionally painful, and it is important to seek evidence-based resources and emotional supports to manage the situation (Lancer, 2014).

Seeking therapy can be a powerful catalyst to help manage emotional responses, promote healing, and create greater awareness and sensitivity in relationships moving forward (Lancer, 2014). Romantic relationships can heavily depend on emotional needs and logic, making it crucial to address denial and self-deception to foster healthier connections.

The speaker recently ended a relationship with someone who brought great meaning and joy. Faced with the choice between addressing issues or spiraling into dysfunction, the decision to seek help and confront the truth was a step towards a healthier future.