Prioritizing User Satisfaction Leads to Happiness

In the complex world of human relationships, codependency is a pattern that can often go unnoticed. This condition, characterised by an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on others, can have its roots traced back to childhood experiences.

According to recent studies, codependents may have grown up in environments where they had to adapt to the needs of ill, addicted, or unavailable parents, or to a selfish or controlling parent. As a result, they may struggle to identify their own emotional needs and wants, often confusing them with those of others.

The first step towards recovery is identifying these needs. By understanding what one truly desires, individuals can begin to take responsibility for meeting their needs and, in turn, feel happier, safer, and more loved. Meeting needs can also lead to feelings of gratitude, playfulness, alertness, and calm, while ignoring them can result in feelings of sadness, fear, anger, tiredness, and loneliness.

Interpersonal needs, such as the need for social connection, emotional support, self-care, personal growth, and boundaries, are particularly important. Meeting these needs often requires courage, as it may involve asking others to meet them or standing up for oneself. Some needs, like self-expression, authenticity, independence, and setting boundaries, also require a significant amount of self-awareness and self-esteem.

Journaling and attuning to feelings and body can be helpful in the recovery process. Starting small, by asking oneself what one wants and needs, and listening to and honouring oneself, is a simple yet effective first step. Making a list of desires, without limiting oneself by current limitations, can also help identify needs that may have been overlooked.

Recovery involves more than just identifying needs; it also requires fulfilling them. Figuring out how to fulfil a need is an essential step in the recovery process. This may involve seeking support from others, such as counsellors or support groups, or learning new skills to meet one's needs independently.

Recovery also means becoming responsible for oneself, developing self-esteem, and fulfilling healthy desires. Codependents, who may have spent much of their lives sacrificing their needs and wants in relationships, may find this a challenging but rewarding process. As they learn to prioritise their own needs, they may find that they experience less resentment and unhappiness, and more fulfilling relationships.

In conclusion, understanding and overcoming codependency is a journey towards self-care and empowerment. By identifying and meeting their needs, individuals can take control of their lives and experience the happiness, gratitude, safety, love, playfulness, alertness, and calm that they deserve.