Relationship Expert Reveals: Emotional Detachment, Not Argument, Most Harmful to Marriage
In the journey of long-term relationships and marriage, it's common for couples to experience a fade in sexual intimacy, often due to the demands of daily life. However, maintaining a strong emotional connection is key to overcoming this challenge.
According to the research of Dr. John Gottman, turning away from or against emotional bids is the greatest threat to a relationship's survival. An emotional bid is a signal for affection, attention, or any other form of positive connection that one partner sends to another. Emotional distance between partners is often a clear sign of crisis within a relationship and usually develops slowly, making it easy to miss until it becomes too late.
Dr. Sue Johnson, the psychologist who developed Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, emphasises the importance of being attuned and responsive to one's partner. By reestablishing the emotional connection and rebuilding a safe emotional bond, couples can protect and improve their relationship.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy encourages both partners to become accessible, responsive, and emotionally engaged. Expressing needs in an assertive, yet respectful way secures intimacy, trust, support, and mutual pleasure in a relationship. Instead of withdrawing or accusing each other, partners should be vulnerable and disclose their tender feelings, using "I need" with their partner.
Relationships and marriage require constant care and much more effort and dedication than most people think. Each relationship is a process that evolves and changes over time. The emotional bond between partners is closely linked to intimacy, security, trust, care, and mutual pleasure.
It's important to note that sexual problems can be both a cause and a symptom of problems in a relationship. If emotional and sexual intimacy is falling apart, it's crucial to start working together on rekindling closeness as soon as possible.
Adults are capable of "secure attachment" and healthy dependency, valuing bonding in close relationships while keeping a strong sense of self. This secure attachment is essential for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
In conclusion, by focusing on the emotional connection, couples can navigate the challenges of long-term relationships and maintain a strong, secure bond. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy provides a practical and effective approach for couples seeking to strengthen their emotional bond and rekindle intimacy.
