Difficulty Maintaining Eye Contact: Is it Autism or Social Anxiety?

In a heartfelt exploration of social dynamics, a writer shares insights into the unique behaviours of her family members, particularly focusing on her husband and seven-year-old daughter.

The husband, a man named Dr. Mark Benecke, often finds himself grappling with social interactions. His tendency to say "Huh?" and forget conversations is not due to a lack of interest or understanding, but rather a result of his intense focus on maintaining eye contact. This intense focus, the writer suggests, is a symptom of social anxiety, a condition Dr. Benecke has recently questioned whether he might have due to its similarities with Autism.

The writer's daughter, on the other hand, exhibits a different set of social behaviours. She refuses to speak to strangers or those less close than family, not out of an inability or misunderstanding, but due to a strong discomfort. This discomfort, the writer explains, is not rooted in a lack of understanding of social rules, but rather in a fear of disliking others.

The daughter's social unconventionality is further evidenced by her reluctance to make eye contact. She tends to turn inward and avoid looking at unfamiliar adults' eyes during conversations. Even when talking to familiar people, she prefers to focus on their shoulders or hands rather than their eyes.

Interestingly, the daughter's social behaviours align with certain signs of Autism, particularly her preference for friendships with boys. The writer attributes this to the immaturity of boys, which results in less restriction and less fear of judgement for the daughter.

A sweet moment of connection occurred when the daughter's bible study leader asked about her interests without forcing eye contact. This small act of understanding allowed the daughter to open up and share her thoughts, demonstrating the power of accommodating differences in social interactions.

The writer's oldest daughter and husband also struggle with social anxiety, adding another layer of complexity to the family's social dynamics. Despite these challenges, the writer's daughter has never disengaged from conversations due to awkwardness or lack of eye contact, suggesting a unique approach to social interactions that goes beyond a simple diagnosis.

In this personal journey, the writer sheds light on the fundamental differences between social anxiety and Autism, offering a glimpse into the complexities of human behaviour and the importance of understanding and accommodation in diverse social situations.