Struggling with decluttering after a loss is common, but a organizing expert shares the vital motto to alleviate indecisiveness while sorting through belongings
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In the midst of an unexpected tragedy, Tania, a 39-year-old woman, found solace in the act of decluttering. After the sudden passing of her younger brother, Tim, at the age of 28 in California, she was left with the daunting task of clearing out his entire apartment.
During this difficult time, Tania turned to a professional organizer, Rebecca Jo Rushdy, a KonMari Master Consultant and the founder of Spark Joy & Flow. Rebecca offered invaluable guidance, reminding Tania that the decluttering process would be a deeply personal journey and that there was no right or wrong way to navigate it.
Tania's decluttering extended beyond Tim's apartment. She became more intentional with her possessions, curating them so her loved ones would never be left guessing what was important to her. This intentionality extended to her new home, a sacred space she shares with her husband, Patrick, whom she met during this period.
Each morning, they start the day together in their sunlit kitchen over coffee and breakfast, enjoying the quiet before the to-dos take over. Photos of Tim and a framed newspaper article about him hang on the wall, serving as a daily reminder that he's still present in her life.
Tania's decluttering process was not without emotional challenges. Facing the task of sorting through Tim's belongings, room by room, was particularly difficult. She found herself struggling to let go of certain items due to their shared memories. However, Rebecca's advice to streamline Tim's belongings helped Tania avoid delaying the grief work.
Decluttering became a bonding activity among Tania's friends, who rallied to support her during this difficult time. Tania recommends the book "Reframing Loss" for focusing on the love that was brought into one's life instead of the loss itself. For a deeper understanding of what loved ones go through after a loss, Tania suggests Sarah Edelman's book, "Free from Toxic Positivity."
Tania was a regular practitioner of the KonMari Method in her own life before the bereavement. The method, which emphasizes keeping only items that spark joy, helped Tania navigate her grief and find solace in the act of decluttering. Using a lidded plastic storage bin for sentimental items she was working through and a lidded basket for items she was actively decluttering, Tania was able to keep her workspace organised and manageable.
Tania's decluttering process shifted her relationships, revealing who would sit with her in her grief and who only wanted her around when she was 'fun.' This revelation was a difficult but necessary part of Tania's healing journey. Today, Tania's home is a testament to her intentional living, filled only with what matters. Each item serves as a reminder of the love and memories shared with her family and friends, including Tim.
