The psychologist reveals the essential piece that all thriving marriages share in common
In the complex landscape of relationships, it's essential to recognise that valuing security doesn't always equate to preserving the status quo. This nuance is crucial to understand, especially in the context of marriage.
A recent study published in Communications Psychology has shed light on this topic, confirming that individuals with strong conservation values often resist divorce due to a desire for stability. However, for some, the pursuit of security can become the motivating force behind divorce if a marriage threatens one's sense of safety through financial instability, emotional neglect, or abuse.
The study also emphasises the importance of shared values in marriages. These values shape how couples make decisions about various aspects of their relationship, including money, parenting, intimacy, and leisure. Shared values provide the scaffolding that supports love when the inevitable strains of life arise.
However, differences in worldview can resurface later in a relationship and become more difficult to reconcile if not addressed early on. Couples can navigate these differences by asking questions like "Do we share a vision of what marriage means?" and "Where do our values align, and where do they diverge?" Awareness of and respect for each other's values is key for a couple with differing individual values to thrive together.
Interestingly, the study also suggests that taking the science-backed Relationship Satisfaction Scale can help determine if a marriage is based only on love or shared values. This tool can provide valuable insights for couples seeking to understand the foundations of their relationship.
Divorce can be a way to reclaim one's safety in cases where a marriage threatens safety. However, it's important to remember that every couple's situation is unique, and two individuals may face similar circumstances but arrive at opposite conclusions about divorce due to different interpretations of what security requires.
As we delve deeper into understanding the role of values in marriages, one question remains unanswered: the national origin of the author of the 2025 study. Despite extensive searches, no information could be found regarding this aspect.
In conclusion, values play a significant role in shaping the dynamics of a marriage. Understanding and respecting each other's values can help couples navigate through the challenges that life throws their way, fostering a stronger, more resilient bond.
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