Troublesome Bond: Jeopardizing Every Bond of Family

In today's modern world, the bond between a mother and her son continues to be a powerful force, but it's not without its complexities. Psychologists suggest that one reason sons may struggle to detach from their mothers is due to feelings of guilt, stemming from a sense of obligation to repay their mothers for the sacrifices and fulfilled wishes made throughout their lives.

This phenomenon, often referred to as 'mama's boys', is generally viewed negatively. It describes a son's extreme dependence on his mother, which can put immense psychological strain on their partners. This dependence, however, is not a one-size-fits-all situation. Today's 'mama's boys' are encouraged to maintain a good relationship with their mother, but also to set boundaries and lead an independent life to preserve their partnerships.

The strong bond between mother and son can be traced back to various factors. For instance, the absence or background presence of the family father can contribute to a strengthened bond, as paternal authority is lacking, and no freedom is created to show sons the way to life outside the family. On the other hand, children growing up with a working mother today are less accustomed to constant care and are more independent.

In some cultures, these dynamics play out differently. For example, in Italy, men often accuse their wives of not being like their mothers during divorce, and many men measure the qualities of their wives against their mothers. If only mother's cooking is praised, appointments are constantly scheduled according to mother's calendar, and the wife feels continuously overshadowed by the mother-in-law, the partnership is in danger.

Moreover, men, both in Italy and elsewhere, lack nurturing in their marriages and partnerships. Refusing to become independent and orienting oneself towards one's mother can lead to anger from partners, and in some cases, the absence of partnerships altogether for men who are excessively dependent on their mothers.

As we look to the future, the strong bond between mother and son may change due to these factors. The woman of today is often career-oriented and may not have time for extensive cooking, regular laundry, and timely ironing. This shift in roles could potentially weaken the traditional bond, forcing sons to learn independence and forge their own paths.

However, it's important to note that discussions on guilt and mother-child dynamics often involve psychoanalytic theories, such as the Ödipuskonflikt, which can influence family relationships and development. These theories suggest that the call of guilt may play a significant role in the incomplete separation of sons from their mothers.

In conclusion, while the mother-son bond remains strong, the dynamics of this relationship are evolving. As society continues to change, it's crucial for both sons and mothers to navigate this relationship carefully, ensuring that it doesn't overshadow personal growth and independence.