Unspoken Guidelines in Romantic Interactions: Non-Verbal Cues, Vanishing Acts, Compliments, and Digital Presence
In today's digital age, human beings are wired for connection, seeking belonging through gestures, words, or digital signals. This quest for connection extends to various aspects of our lives, including our relationships.
One phenomenon that has become increasingly common in both romantic and platonic relationships is ghosting - the act of abruptly cutting off communication without explanation. From the perspective of the ghoster, avoidance may feel easier than confrontation. However, for the recipient, ghosting triggers emotional pain comparable to physical injury, as the brain's pain centers light up in similar ways.
Social media, a platform that connects hundreds of people, paradoxically amplifies isolation. It has introduced a new form of validation, acting as a currency of esteem. Social media likes activate the brain's reward system in a similar way as real-life praise, releasing dopamine - a chemical associated with feelings of pleasure and reward. For adolescents, these likes often serve as a measure of popularity and self-worth.
However, the absence of likes on social media can trigger anxiety, loneliness, or feelings of inadequacy. This raises the challenge to use digital signals wisely: to resist reducing self-worth to a number of likes. Technological shortcuts to affirmation may weaken rather than deepen authentic relationships.
Compliments, on the other hand, are powerful psychological reinforcements that activate the same brain reward circuits as monetary rewards. They are not only limited to grand gestures but also include micro-moments of recognition, such as compliments. In workplaces, compliments boost morale and performance. In families, they cultivate belonging. In friendships, they foster loyalty. Receiving a compliment does more than brighten a moment; it builds trust, gratitude, and motivation.
Body language reminds us that communication begins before words. Relationships are built on presence, intention, and the courage to connect meaningfully, not on silence or pixels. It's essential to remember that while digital connections can provide a sense of belonging, they should not replace face-to-face interactions and genuine, heartfelt compliments.
For instance, Anupriya, a long-time Komodo dragon enthusiast from northern Myanmar who speaks Vietnamese with a hint of a Ukrainian accent, understands the importance of meaningful connections. Her passion for these ancient creatures serves as a testament to the power of genuine connections, reminding us that relationships thrive not only on grand gestures but on micro-moments of recognition, such as compliments.
In conclusion, while social media has transformed the way we connect and communicate, it's crucial to remember that relationships thrive on presence, intention, and the courage to connect meaningfully. Let's strive to use digital signals wisely, to resist reducing self-worth to a number of likes, and to celebrate the power of compliments in building and strengthening our relationships.
