Vacuuming Explanation, Indications, and Strategies for Cope-Up
Hoovering is a term used to describe a series of manipulative behaviours employed by individuals to re-attract someone into a toxic or abusive relationship. This behaviour is not scientifically established as a concept, but it is often indicative of a larger manipulation pattern.
Examples of hoovering behaviour include promising to change, start therapy, or improve in ways previously desired, but these promises are often insincere and manipulative attempts to lure the other person back. Manipulators may also disregard the person's boundaries, claiming that "the rules don't apply."
Other tactics used in hoovering include guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail, disrespecting boundaries, and threatening or intimidating the person into coming back. In some cases, the manipulator may even threaten self-harm to elicit a response.
Manipulators may also involve family and friends in their manipulation, convincing them to send messages on their behalf. Behaviours such as gaslighting, gift-giving, love bombing, and other actions that manipulate the other person are also common in hoovering.
Emotional blackmail can involve the manipulator playing the victim and making the person feel guilty and ashamed. Cluster B personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder, may be associated with hoovering.
When faced with hoovering, it is crucial to recognise the behaviours and set boundaries. Taking the higher ground in response, such as not engaging in emotional arguments or giving in to manipulation, is also important. If necessary, seeking professional or legal help is recommended.
It is important to remember that hoovering is a form of emotional abuse and should be taken seriously. Recognising and responding to hoovering can help protect individuals from being drawn back into toxic or abusive relationships.
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